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Friends Only and Junk

So. This journal is officially friend's only because someone I didn't want reading my inane and private thoughts was doing so.

I can't think of a damn person I won't add - although you should be aware I swear a lot and like to make mock-hostile posts aimed at the people on my friend's list.

Plus, although my life is not, my journal is incredibly boring.


The Thing Is - Ellen Bass

The thing is...

to love life, to love it even
when you have no stomach for it
and everything you've held dear
crumbles like burnt paper in your hands,
your throat filled with the silt of it.
When grief sits with you, its tropical heat
thickening the air, heavy as water
more fit for gills than lungs;
when grief weights you like your own flesh
only more of it, an obesity of grief,
you think, How can a body withstand this?
Then you hold life like a face
between your palms, a plain face,
no charming smile, no violet eyes,
and you say, yes, I will take you
I will love you, again.
The surprising thing about this, is that I was surprised.


As a 1930s wife, I am
Very Poor (Failure)

Take the test!

Also, this is not a compliment:


As a 1930s husband, I am

Take the test!

My friend BLANK wrote the following poem. I'm pretty sure it's the best thing I've ever read.

Richard Dawkins

I used to collect baseball cards,
Certain they would make me a millionaire,
While I obsessed over my Jose Cansecos,
Richard Dawkins was formulating doctrine,
According to him, the onus is on me,
Honus Wagner,
Don't ever show this poem to an old dude.
The End

Now's the perfect time to visit Iran

It's my NEPHEW!

From the e-mail from my brother : "To the left of his face is his elbow - he was lying back with his arms behind his head sticking his elbows out!  You can also see his foot to the right of his face.  He was poking himself in the forehead with his feet the whole time!

It's kind of creepy looking, but since it's our own baby, we think it's adorable!  Look at his big lips!!!!"

Mostly for my Cubs fans...

...but even if you don't care about baseball you have to admit - THIS DUDE IS HOT!

So Geo has been my favorite Cub since he replaced that JACKASS Kendall in the playoffs last year.

I HATED Kendall...with a passion I have never hated a Cub. I DO NOT HATE CUBS!  I hate booing.  I hate shit talking.  Dudes have bad days, I still love them. I get sad when I see Cubs fans attacking dudes for having a bad day.

But Kendall?!? FUCK KENDALL!

In any case, I'm stoked that Cubs fans are starting to get super pro-Soto since he's rocking it but I'm also constantly wanting to point out HE WAS MY CUBS BOYFRIEND FIRST!

If I can't have Billy Petrick, I'll have Soto!

And here's a video of him looking/being hot. It's kind of like porn to me at the moment.


The image of the straight talk guy

I just ate a lettuce sandwich.  That's bread and lettuce only, folks.

Shockingly, it wasn't particularly tasty.

Earlier tonight Sara was cooking dinner and I was sitting at the kitchen table watching her cook and generally amusing her.  As she waited for the skillet to heat she started shaking her head back and forth with a confused look on her face. She started swaying a little.  She stumbled toward me and I caught her arm and asked if she was okay.  "I'm fine, I need to go in there" she said, pointing at the bedroom.  She took one more step, directly into the over-the-toilet rack in our kitchen we use to store our dry goods.  Her glasses fell off her face and she fainted in my arms.  I gently lowered her to the floor, wondering what the fuck I should do; who I should call.  She woke almost immediately, got up and went right back to cooking, without concern.

I spent the rest of the night with my heart skipping a beat every time she moved. 
Lit (or: to the scientist I am not speaking to any more)-- Cristin O'Keefe Aptowicz
Don’t say you didn’t see this coming, Jason.

Don’t say you didn’t realize this would be my reaction
and that you never intended for me to get all worked up,
because if that were true, then you are dumber
than Lenny from Mice and Men, blinder than Oedipus
and Tierus put together and can feel less
than a Dalton Trumbo character.

You put the Dick in Dickens and the Boo in kowski
and are more Coward-ly then Noël.

But you don’t understand any of these references,
Do you, Jason? Because you ‘don’t read.'
You are a geology major and you once told me
That, ‘Scientists don’t read popular literature,
Cristin, we have more important things to do’.

Well, fuck you.

Be glad you don’t read, Jason,
because maybe you won’t understand this
as I scream it to you on your front lawn,
on Christmas Day, brandishing three hypodermic needles,
a ginsu knife and a letter of permission
from Bret Easton Ellis.

Jason, you are more absurd than Ionesco.
You are more abstract than Joyce,
more inconsistent than Agatha Christie
and more Satanic than Rushdie’s verses.

I can’t believe I used to want to Sappho you, Jason.
I used to want to Pablo Neruda you,
to Anais Nin And Henry Miller you. I used to want
to be O for you, to blow for you in ways
that even Odysseus’ sails couldn’t handle.
But self-imposed illiteracy isn’t a turn-on.

You used to make fun of me being a writer,
saying ‘Scientists cure diseases,
what do writers do?’

But of course, you wouldn’t understand, Jason.
I mean, have you ever gotten an inner thirsting
for Zora Neale Hurston?
Or heard angels herald for you
to read F Scott Fitzgerald?
Have you ever had a beat attack for Jack Kerouac?
The only Morrison you know is Jim, and you think
you’re the noble one?

Go Plath yourself.

Apr. 10th, 2008

"the quiet world" by jeffrey mcdaniel
in an effort to get people to look
into each other's eyes more,
the government has decided to allot
each person exactly one hundred
and sixty-seven words, per day.

when the phone rings, i put it
to my ear without saying hello.
in the restaurant i point
at chicken noodle soup. i am
adjusting well to the new way.

late at night, i call my long-
distance lover and proudly say:
i only used fifty-nine today.
i saved the rest for you.

when she doesn't respond, i know
she's used up all her words,
so i slowly whisper i love you,
thirty-two and a third times.
after that, we just sit on the line
and listen to each other breathe.

Distressed Haiku - Donald Hall

You think that their
dying is the worst
thing that could happen.

Then they stay dead.
A girl that lives across the street from me is jumping on a pogo stick and reading a book.

A few doors down a man is playing catch with his son.

I love my neighborhood.
Legacies // Nikki Giovanni
her grandmother called her from the playground
       "yes, ma'am"
       "i want chu to learn how to make rolls" said the old
woman proudly
but the little girl didn't want
to learn how because she knew
even if she couldn't say it that
that would mean when the old one died she would be less
dependent on her spirit so
she said
       "i don't want to know how to make no rolls"
with her lips poked out
and the old woman wiped her hands on
her apron saying "lord
       these children"
and neither of them ever
said what they meant
and i guess nobody ever does

Cubs Times are here again!

Look how awesome I am at making awesome things :


Yes, I am up!

YES I am ready! And wetting myself.

If you dudes aren't into me obsessing over the Cubs, you may as well delete me now. Because it's only going to get worse.
So I'm about to post my application to snapshot_seeker because it's awesome over there and I post too many pictures here.

But, I have to promote them.

So, here I am promoting them!

Mar. 26th, 2008

I just came across this '1001 books to read before you die' list and so now I'm going to highlight the ones I've read and possibly take note of the ones I haven't read. I'm into goals. But, we'll see.

After taking like an hour to go through all of that, I'm now kind of into reading all of them.

Everything I have read that they have on there I either LOVED or am at least glad I read.

Although, there are definitely a lot of 1800's shit I'd like to see added.

Again, I don't recommend clicking on the link. It'll make your shit slow as hell.


"We aspire to be something more than stupid and timid chattels, pretending to read the history in our Bibles, but desecrating every house and every day we breathe in......On the whole, my respect for my fellow-men, except as one may outweigh a million, is not increased these days.  I have noticed the cold-blooded way in which newspaper writers and men generally speak of this event.....When we heard at first that he was dead, one of my townsmen observed that 'he died as the fool dieth;' which, pardon me, for an instant suggested a likeness in him dying to my neighbor living.  Others, craven-hearted, said disparagingly, that 'he threw his life away,' because he resisted the government.  Which way have they thrown their lives, pray? - Such as would praise a man for attacking singly an ordinary band of thieves or murderers.  I hear another ask, Yankee-like, 'What will he gain by it?' as if he expected to fill his pockets by this enterprise.  Such a one has no idea of gain but in this worldly sense.  If it does not lead to a 'surprise' party, if he does not get a new pair of boots, or a vote of thanks it must be a failure.  'But he won't gain any thing by it.'  'Well, no, I don't suppose he could get four-and-sixpence a day for being hung, take the year round; but then he stands a chance to save a considerable part of his soul - and such a soul! - when you do not.  No doubt you can get more in your market for a quart of milk than for a quart of blood, but that is not the market that heroes carry their blood to."

Civil Disobedience - Henry David Thoreau

"It is not desirable to cultivate a respect for the law so much as a respect for the right. "

"There are thousands who are in opinion opposed to slavery and to the war, who yet in effect do nothing to put an end to them; who, esteeming themselves children of Washington and Franklin, sit down with their hands in their pockets, and say that they know not what to do, and do nothing; who even postpone the question of freedom to the question of free-trade, and quietly read the prices-current along with the latest advices from Mexico, after dinner, and, it may be, fall asleep over them both.  What is th price-current of an honest man and patriot today?  They hesitate, and they regret, and sometimes they petition; but they do nothing in earnest and with effect.  They will wait, well disposed, for others to remedy the evil, that they may no longer have it to regret.  At most, they give only a cheap vote, and a feeble countenance and Godspeed, to the right, as it goes by them.  There are nine hundred and ninety-nine patrons of virtue to one virtuous man; but it is easier to deal with the real possessor of a thing than with the temporary guardian of it."

Um, duh!

"Intellectually" Intelligent

You're 'Intellectually Intelligent.' That pretty much means that you're good with theoretical ideas and concepts - but this comes to you naturally. More or less, you're a natural brainiac. Good for you.

40% theoretical intelligence
60% natural intelligence

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Robert Kelly, "Gethsemani"

Kneeling there on the ground in the garden all through the
night, he whispered quickly but distinctly the name of every
person who ever lived upon the earth or ever would live here.
He asked if anyone would help, or take his place. We all said
Well, the Germans are gone. 

I had a really great time with them but I'm also relieved they're gone.  Well, not relieved. But, I don't sleep much. We were up until 4 or 5 most nights and then I'm still up at 8 or 9 and they slept until noon or so.  So, I'll be glad to be able to wake up tomorrow and hop on the computer or put a movie in or whatever.

Neat story, huh?


If you'd like to read about our adventures you should click hereCollapse ) .